Here are the results from this evening's Friday Night Smackdown!:
Alberto Del Rio opens the show with a fiesta in the ring. A recap of his beat-down of Rey Mysterio from the previous week is shown on the titantron and Alberto claims that he is celebrating the "removal of Rey from the WWE." He proposes a toast to himself, because he is "rich.. handsome.. powerful.. I'm everything!" At this point, he is interrupted by Christian, of all people. He jokes that Del Rio is JBL ("Juan Bradshaw Layfield") and Enrique Iglesias. A bit of casual racism never did anyone harm sure. Then Captain Charisma gets serious (is it even possible to take him serious anymore?) and it looks as if a fight is about to ensue. However, Del Rio leaves the ring and says there will be "another time and another place, but you're going to pay." Christian is then ambushed by Drew McIntyre, who he is due to face next. Alberto empties a bottle of champagne over The Instant Classic.
During the break, Drew throws Christian into the steel ringsteps. The Canadian goes ahead with the match nonetheless. In the most impressive bit of the bout, Christian jumped off the middle turnbuckle towards Drew, but the Sinister Scotsman reversed it into a tilt-the-whirl backbreaker. At around the four minute mark, Drew reversed the Killswitch into a gutbuster, yet Christian gained the win with a roll-up -- without hitting the ringpost once!
This is followed by Michelle McCool versus Kelly Kelly. Matt Striker and Todd Grisham are joined by Layla, who is very hyper on commentary. She's excited about the possibility of becoming Unified Divas/Womens Champion apparently. McCool wins with the Faithbreaker (or AJ Styles' finishing move, the Styles Clash) after just over two minutes.
After the break, we see Hornswoggle in Teddy Long's office with a psychiatrist. The leprechaun has electrodes placed on his temples. According to the psychiatrist, this is the last solution to get him to speak. Unsurprisingly, Hornswoggle rejects the electro-shock therapy, instead sticking a electrode on the doctor's forehead. Teddy and Hornswoggle scuttle away, while smoke rise from beneath the doc. This angle is stupid and isn't going anywhere. Remind me not to acknowledge it next time. . .
Following the ad break, Chris Masters is in the ring. Vickie Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler. I had seen these have a decent match before on Superstars, so I expected this to be at least a competent outing for the both of them. Dolph hit a nice neckbreaker on Masters on the ropes at one point. For the finish, Masters went for the Masterlock, but it was reversed very nicely when Dolph leaped up onto the corner and landed backwards. He then won with the Zig-Zag in just under three minutes.
Big Show then comes out for his 2-on-1 handicap tag match with CM Punk and Luke Gallows from the Straight Edge Society, who are joined by the injured Joey Mercury at ringside. Still no explanation on-screen for Serena's release from the company, and I somehow doubt we will ever get one. The match proceeds a bit like a game of cat and mouse, with the SES trying to avoid Show at all costs. With`a good bit of the action moving outside the ring, Gallows was able to knock down the 400-pound giant with one blow to the back of the head. In the finishing sequence, Punk is knocked off the apron, Show does a reverse electric chair on Gallows and gets the win via submission after slapping on a rear-naked choke. Punk, is seething at this point, loses his cool and gives Gallows a GTS. He leaves the ring in anger and falls to his knees at the stage. It looks as if the SES's days are numbered. . .
Next we have the VIP Lounge with special guest host Jack Swagger, who won the right to host it after defeating MVP a week earlier in the Jack Swagger Sr Invitational. Swagger's guest is his father, who is sitting in a wheelchair in the ring with a neck brace on (showing the effects of Kane's Tombstone Piledriver several weeks earlier presumably). He says he is proud of his son, despite being left to be hit with the aforementioned move on a previous episode of Smackdown. Jack does some push-ups for his dad, who counts two for every one at some point after ten push-ups. MVP interrupts and says that it is still his VIP Lounge and that there are "renovations" to be done. He subsequently starts throwing trophies and furniture around. MVP then goes for Swagger, who uses his dad as a human shield. Jack pretty much hurls his father out of the chair towards MVP and runs out f the ring. Jack Swagger Sr is then left to Porter, who lands the ballin' elbow drop on him. What jerks.
Matt Hardy comes out next and looks as if he can barely walk. Cody Rhodes enters with a mic and insults Matt about his appearance. He says that "my Grooming Tips are for people like... you fatty!" and points to a group of kids in the front row, probably not realising who he was about to point at. He resumes insulting Hardy and shows him the mirror on the back of his jacket. He says he sees "Matt Hardy Version.. done!" This whole spot lasts about three minutes. There was probably no need for it to go on that long. When the match finally does start, it lasts about five minutes. Cody gains the pinfall after Hardy hurts his leg and pounces with Crossroads (or is it CrossRhodes?).
In the last segment of the night, we finally get to hear Kane's "Major Announcement." Kane's entrance music and pyro come on, but is nowhere to be seen. We hear him laughing and find that he is actually on the titantron. He talks about the "final chapter" and the "end of the Undertaker's existence." Heavy stuff. He then goes on to announce that he'll defend his World Heavyweight Title against Taker at Night Of Champions to almost no crowd reaction. He laughs menacingly and says he has "longed for (his) powers" and casket is brought ringside by druids. As the camera gets a shot of it, Undi's graphics begin to appear, but it is just a swerve as Kane emerges from within. There is even more laughing as Kane claims that Taker is now in his shadow. He talks about his brother's weakness and how his "powers" now belong to him. The Big Red Machine repeatedly says that "nothing can stop me!", but just at that moment, the Phenom's music hits. Taker enters the ring and makes a move for Kane, but the lights go out and he has disappeared once they come back on. Upon opening the casket, Taker finds that it is empty. We are once again greeted to the sight of Kane on the tron. He says that they are known as "the Brothers Of Destruction, but after Night Of Champions you will be the brother that I destroyed." The show closes with Kane's pyro and music.
All in all, not a bad Smackdown. I didn't think there was a single bad match on the card and, even though they are trying to stretch out the Taker-Kane feud each week with segments that can feel a bit forced at times, it was a pretty solid episode. Definitely a world away from this week's Monday Night Raw.
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